The ABC's of apologizing

Have you ever put your foot in your mouth--metaphorically speaking--and then try to fix it only to end up with both feet in? That's what happens when one tries to apologize by attempting to justify our actions or deflecting responsibility by placing it somewhere.  An effective apology requires swift and careful thought.

Act quickly.  Do not wait too long to take the first step.  If you are not sure what to say, consult with a trusted mentor, professor or colleague.  Pick someone who can provide a neutral perspective.

Be brief. Get to the point.  "I apologize for X." Or "I would like to apologize for X. My comment/behavior was inappropriate." Period. That is it.  Refrain from explaining why you did it.  This will only take away from the apology.

Cover all your bases.  In order words, have some kind of damage control in place.  Your faux pas is bound to tick people off and some may choose to hold it against you for a long time.  Check in with friends, acquaintances and colleague to gauge who is on your corner.

If you liked this post, you may also like:

Lessons from failure

A popular saying assures us that only two things are certain in life:  death and taxes.  There is a third:  failure.  We are bound to not achieve all of our goals on the first try.  Sometimes our failures are very public. Think the New England Patriots losing to the New York Giants.  Other times they are private.  Regardless of how we fail, the important question is:  What lessons can we learn from failure?

A couple come to mind:

Accept and acknowledge.  In order to move on and focus on other goals, it is important to accept that things did not work out and--most importantly--acknowledge the fact that you tried.  Acknowledging your efforts is key. We spend lots of time beating ourselves up for not winning and forget to remember what did right.  Stop the cycle of excessive self-criticism and identify small wins.  Did you secure an informal interview after several attempts?  Did the recruiter invite to another round of interviews?

Reflect and retool.  This approach is most useful when we know we will be trying again.  Being objective about what went wrong and could have been done differently.  What actions could you take to achieve different outcomes? Who could help get there?  Do I need more time to prepare?

Losing is not pretty.  No one is his right mind wants to be the one who did not get the job, was the runner up to a fellowship, or lost a second time to the same team (I feel you pain, Patriots!).  However, having the courage to see failure as a learning opportunity is what separate real winners from losers.

The 21st century workplace

The 21st century workplace is here.  It's technology driven.  It's global and multicultural.  It challenges old success and leadership paradigms that advocate for one winner and many losers. It requires excelling in three specific areas:  Innovation, Cultural Competency and Collaboration.

Being innovative can be as easy as finding the fastest way to complete a routine task to solving an intricate problem that has pestered employees for years.  The key element for anything to be considered innovative is the perception that it is different from what has been used or tried in the past.  In other words, the newness combined with the effectiveness of the idea is what makes it innovative.  Think the iPhone.

Being culturally competent can take several meanings.  The most popular description is the ability to interact and work effectively across cultures.  Then the question becomes: what is a culture?  Simply put, culture refers to the set of norms, values, beliefs and traditions followed by a group of people.  In this context, culture generally describes different ethnic communities (e.g. Latinos, Asians).  However, culture can also refer to other types of groupings:  small businesses, large corporations, start ups, government agencies, etc.  These organizations have a distinct set of values and ways of conducting business and making decisions that differentiate them from each other.

Being collaborative is a phrase that is thrown around a lot.  Collaboration is not easy.  It requires trust among team members and the willingness to support one another.  The traditional way of working and leading has been the total opposite.  So, this is the one trait that requires significant individual effort to start and group follow through for it to happen.

Some questions to ponder:

• Does my current professional experience show signs of these traits? How? What concrete examples can I offer a prospective employer?
• Which of the three is my dominant trait? Which would I like it to be?
• Whom do I know (personally or through the media) that embodies these traits?

If you liked this post, you might also like:

Career trends in 2012

Skills, knowledge and traits...oh my!

From dreaming to execution

As we wind down the celebrations for Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday, the one thought on my mind is his "I Have a Dream" speech.  These words have inspired many to dare to dream big.  I must confess I am a serial dreamer.  Where I encounter challenges at times is making a dream a reality.  Here is how I have made it work.  Ask yourself these questions:

• How does this dream fit with my goals? There was a time when my dream was to have a Caipirinha with New England Patriots Tom Brady and his wife supermodel Gisele Bündchen.  As fun as this dream was it really did not fit in with my goal of being an inspiring author and a leadership expert.  I guess I could have used the anecdote of meeting them in my talks, or use them as examples of leadership and empowerment, but meeting them did not add any value to my main goal other than give me personal satisfaction.  
• What does this dream mean?  In the Tom and Gisele example, I could speculate endlessly and arrive at many answers.  The one that resonated with me the most was the desire to have fun things happen in my life.  If I were to combine my dream of being an author and expert with the Tom and Gisele dream, I would come up with being an inspiring author while having fun at it.
• How does the end result look like? Once you have figured out that your dream makes sense and is in alignment with your goals, then start visualizing how it will look like when you get to the finish line.  Yes, we have discussed this technique before.  It works.  So, start backtracking every step from the end result (the realization of your dream!) to where you are now.  What are the steps necessary? Who do I need in my corner? What resources will I need? What is a realistic timeline?

Going from dreaming to execution requires a lot of thinking.  But at the end what will make your dreams become a reality are the steps that you take to get you there.

If you liked this post, you might also like:
New year resolutions that stick
Proactive career management 101

Career trends in 2012

Two opposite trends will dominate the career landscape in 2012:  there will be a steady flow of jobs in traditionally recession-proof sectors such as education and health care, while jobs will also be found in self-made opportunities, also known as the gig economy.

It is no secret that the economy is on the mend.  Latest economic indicators are pointing towards a slow but steady recovery.  Key word here is slow.  What does this mean to those who are looking for work?  It means that there are no guarantees of landing a job in a shorter period of time than last year.  Your best bet is to anticipate what career trends are emerging or carrying over from last year and position yourself to seize opportunities presented by these trends.

One trend that has taken hold over the past few years is the gig model of work.  We all have had gigs in one form or another:  babysitting, waiting tables, or tutoring. This approach of hiring temporary help has migrated to the workplace.  According to The Atlantic, there are approximately 42 million Americans working as freelancers, consultants, independent contractors. This number does not only capture seasoned, experienced professionals.  Recent grads are also engaged in pursuing their own opportunities which includes starting their own business.

What to do as a job seeker under these circumstances?  Take a very good look at your current career goals, pick a side and give it a shot.  The career landscape is uncertain, but it also presents unexpected opportunities for those who are willing to proactively manage their careers.

If you liked this post, you might also like:
Proactive career management 101
How to land a job in this difficult economy

New year resolutions that stick

Not to burst your bubble but statistics do not lie:  the likelihood you will not accomplish your New Year resolutions are very high.  So, why do we go through the yearly ritual of listing what we want to do, share it with others and then do not follow through?

Because of two reasons: 1) we are creatures of habit; and 2) we overestimate our ability to change. 

Yes, we love to do what is familiar to us.  It makes us feel comfortable and in control.  So, if for the past several years we've been eating a whole bagel with cream cheese with a large coffee with 3 packets of sugar every morning and our resolution is to lose weight, it is going to be tough. Notice that I said tough not impossible.  This is where our belief that we can conquer and squash this eating habit kicks in.  We cannot accept that a bagel and cream cheese have such an influence over us.  We prefer to think that our will power can transform our eating habits just because we say so.

How can we increase the chance that we will accomplish our resolutions?  Let me offer a few suggestions.

• Become aware that what you are looking to achieve means changing your mindset and  lifestyle.  It is the same for those who are looking to lose weight, find a job, start a relationship. 
• Focus on one resolution at a time.  The greatest mistake most make is to write a list of many resolutions (i.e. swim with dolphins, do the Inca trail, save $500 a month, run the marathon) that are complex, require resources and focus, and at times, compete with each other.  How are you going to spend time swimming with dolphins, and do the Inca trail when you also want to save money?
• Enlist the help of others.  Find a friend, colleague that has similar goals so you can support each other.
• Visualize the outcome.  This is a popular method used by professional athletes and other high achieving performers.  Before you start, close your eyes and see yourself where you want to be.  See yourself 30 lbs thinner, or crossing the finish line of the marathon, or receiving confirmation of a job offer.  Spend time observing how this 'new' person is behaving, her posture, what she did the day before.  The idea is to backtrack from the day when the goal happens to where you are now and figure out the steps that got you there.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to have fun during the journey.  Help yourself accomplish your goal one day at a time and you will get there!

If you liked this post, you might also like:
Why you need to go to college
Proactive career management 101
How to land a job in this difficult economy

Holiday wishes...

Wishing you and yours a 

wonderful holiday season!

Let's enjoy a well deserved holiday and reflect on the year we leave behind and gear up for the year ahead of us.

To a happy and healthy 2012!!