New year resolutions that stick

Not to burst your bubble but statistics do not lie:  the likelihood you will not accomplish your New Year resolutions are very high.  So, why do we go through the yearly ritual of listing what we want to do, share it with others and then do not follow through?

Because of two reasons: 1) we are creatures of habit; and 2) we overestimate our ability to change. 

Yes, we love to do what is familiar to us.  It makes us feel comfortable and in control.  So, if for the past several years we've been eating a whole bagel with cream cheese with a large coffee with 3 packets of sugar every morning and our resolution is to lose weight, it is going to be tough. Notice that I said tough not impossible.  This is where our belief that we can conquer and squash this eating habit kicks in.  We cannot accept that a bagel and cream cheese have such an influence over us.  We prefer to think that our will power can transform our eating habits just because we say so.

How can we increase the chance that we will accomplish our resolutions?  Let me offer a few suggestions.

• Become aware that what you are looking to achieve means changing your mindset and  lifestyle.  It is the same for those who are looking to lose weight, find a job, start a relationship. 
• Focus on one resolution at a time.  The greatest mistake most make is to write a list of many resolutions (i.e. swim with dolphins, do the Inca trail, save $500 a month, run the marathon) that are complex, require resources and focus, and at times, compete with each other.  How are you going to spend time swimming with dolphins, and do the Inca trail when you also want to save money?
• Enlist the help of others.  Find a friend, colleague that has similar goals so you can support each other.
• Visualize the outcome.  This is a popular method used by professional athletes and other high achieving performers.  Before you start, close your eyes and see yourself where you want to be.  See yourself 30 lbs thinner, or crossing the finish line of the marathon, or receiving confirmation of a job offer.  Spend time observing how this 'new' person is behaving, her posture, what she did the day before.  The idea is to backtrack from the day when the goal happens to where you are now and figure out the steps that got you there.

The most important piece of advice I can give you is to have fun during the journey.  Help yourself accomplish your goal one day at a time and you will get there!

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Making lemonade from lemons: the job seeker mantra

Lately, it seems that everything is conspiring to test our optimism.  First, there were several tremors felt across the United States and Latin America.  Then, Hurricane Irene caused havoc the Caribbean and along the East Coast, from Florida to New England. Telephone lines, internet and electric power were interrupted.  How can we focus on looking for work under these conditions?

I was one of those who was in a technology stand still.  We lost electricity for three days which meant I got behind  in my work and deadlines.  It took lots of will power to channel my frustration into some kind of productive outcome but somehow I got there.  Here are the steps that helped me.  They may help you.

• Go with the flow.  It is useless to get angry about an act of God.  Accepting that there are circumstances beyond our control, like the weather, diffuses the feeling of helplessness. 
• Refocus and re-prioritize. Once you have accepted your new, temporary reality, see what you can get done.  Could you go to the library to continue your online search?  
• Test your resourcefulness.  Make a game of finding solutions to the challenges in front of you. If you need to write a thank you letter, do it by hand until you can get to a computer. It is as simple as that.  You would be surprised to know how many people spend the day complaining about what's wrong and do not do anything about it.
• Acknowledge what is working.  The feeling of appreciation will put things in perspective.  Although our level of comfort was radically changed, it did not compare to what others went through.  And this applies to Irene or to being unemployed.  

Remember, there are always others who are better or worse than we.  Understanding this dynamic does not make us complacent.  It turns us into grateful, resourceful, creative individuals that can be productive under any circumstance.

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The language of success

First impressions tips and strategies

The crude reality of looking for work is that potential employers make their decision in the first few seconds of meeting you.  They spend the remainder of the interview trying to find facts to support their first impression.  It is your immediate task to convince them that you are credible and likable.  Your resume got you the appointment.  Now, you need to rely on your appearance, body language and confidence to move you to the next round.


Appearance.  Think of appearance as how you come across visually.  It has nothing to do with physical attribute (how tall/short/etc.)  Have you heard of the phrase, dress for success? Well, it is true. Dressing to be perceived as successful (meaning capable, sharp and reliable) includes and excludes accessories, and even perfume.  Your impeccable work experience can be easily outshined by too much mascara or cologne.  A conservative look is generally the best way to go.

Body language.  Wearing the right suit or earrings is not enough.  If you are slouched or do not make eye contact, you will not project trustworthiness.  What you are not saying with words you are saying with your body, posture and overall stance.  A firm handshake is a good example of positive body language. 


Confidence.  There are other ways to convey confidence in addition to dressing well and standing up straight.   This is where you want to give the interviewer an idea of how you will be interacting with colleagues on a daily basis. You want to come across engaging and comfortable around new people and situations.  For instance, answering or asking questions clearly and effectively.  

If you are a bit baffled by how first impressions work, turn the tables for a minute. Remember a past interview where the interviewer did not give you a good vibe.  Was it the limp handshake? Or the rushed conversation?  Or the lack of eye contact while reviewing your resume? As you can see, it works both ways!


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