A popular saying assures us that only two things are certain in life: death and taxes. There is a third: failure. We are bound to not achieve all of our goals on the first try. Sometimes our failures are very public. Think the New England Patriots losing to the New York Giants. Other times they are private. Regardless of how we fail, the important question is: What lessons can we learn from failure?
A couple come to mind:
Accept and acknowledge. In order to move on and focus on other goals, it is important to accept that things did not work out and--most importantly--acknowledge the fact that you tried. Acknowledging your efforts is key. We spend lots of time beating ourselves up for not winning and forget to remember what did right. Stop the cycle of excessive self-criticism and identify small wins. Did you secure an informal interview after several attempts? Did the recruiter invite to another round of interviews?
Reflect and retool. This approach is most useful when we know we will be trying again. Being objective about what went wrong and could have been done differently. What actions could you take to achieve different outcomes? Who could help get there? Do I need more time to prepare?
Losing is not pretty. No one is his right mind wants to be the one who did not get the job, was the runner up to a fellowship, or lost a second time to the same team (I feel you pain, Patriots!). However, having the courage to see failure as a learning opportunity is what separate real winners from losers.
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